Thursday, April 28, 2011

Jaded emo-hipster royal wedding haters

We get it.  You are too cool for school.  You'd sooner rip off your little toe than watch royal wedding coverage. You don't care, but you care enough to tell everyone how much you don't care.

I even saw a person online speculate that this coverage was a "plot" on the part of the "corporate media".  In case you didn't know, if you want to make something sound super sinister, use the adjective "corporate."  I do not care for corporate liver.  A corporate nail punctured my tire.  Corporate tornadoes ripped across the South yesterday.   Actually, that last one isn't far-fetched ... I'm sure they will be blamed on "global climate change" that is caused by "corporate greed."

But I digress.  I digress frequently.

The royal wedding is newsworthy.  I can understand if some guys aren't that excited.  Deep down, you're probably thinking, "That playa is a PRINCE ... and now he's ball and chaining it."  For those of us that are older, we remember Charles and Diana's wedding.  We witnessed the ensuing chaos and tragedy.  We're ready and hoping for a happier ending.  We watched this kid grow up and, let's face it, the woman he chose seems likable.

Now's the time for you to grumble that the concept of the monarchy is outdated.  Like it or not, they bring a ton of tourism to England.  The newer, younger members seem more down-to-Earth.  The man getting married will one day be the King of England.  On a side note, I often see people complaining about the monarchy in England ... but they don't rail against the monarchies in Belgium, Sweden or Malaysia.

But I digress.

There's no doubt that as an international human drama of historical significance, this wedding meets the requirements of being newsworthy. 

Also, I admit, it has "girl-factor".  Yep.  We were raised with Disney princesses.  We like love stories.  We're hoping this will be a romance for the ages that will restore some faith in the idea that there's really a match out there for everyone.  Kate's a woman from somewhat humble beginnings, and she caught the eye of a future King.  "Some day my prince will come..." and all that jazz.

So ... relax.  It will be over soon.  In the meantime, instead of getting your proverbial knickers in a twist ... grab your remote and consult TV Guide.  No one's forcing you to watch.

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