Saturday, October 8, 2011

The most serious problem facing us today...(written at grandma's - Jan. 2009)

...something happens when I shut the fridge door.
I have become convinced that the leftovers are either procreating, replicating or cloning themselves.
I called the government about it on, you know, the special hotline number but all I got was a message that said "We're sorry, the government is currently in something of a transition and cannot take your call at this time."
It's a conspiracy.  They know it's me on the phone and they know that I've discovered the situation vis a vis the stuff in the refrigerator and they are ignoring my attempted distress call.
In fact, I would not be a bit surprised if they are secretly experimenting on this household.  I saw something under a jar of olives that looked like it was a high-tech bugging device.  It could also have been a raisin, but I think it was a surveillance gadget.  In case it had one of those GPS thingies, I flushed it down the toilet.
Track THAT!
My beef is the beef.  Yesterday we had SOME in one plastic container.   Today we have MORE in one plastic container.  If it didn't even leave the container, HOW did it increase its size? 
Also, potatoes, potatoes potatoes!  They are all over the place.  We had them for lunch twice and the exact same amount of potatoes are still in there!
We, in short, need to at LEAST get our story out there.  Then, if it happens to anyone else, they will know that they are not alone.
Join our cause.

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